September 9, 2008

• In Shock

  Warning: Don't read this if you are already upset about something. I'm going to mention something extremely devastating.

  I belong to an online group of other women who gave birth in July 2007. We post threads and comments about the trials and tribulations of our babies (now toddlers), about our families, about work and just about life in general. Even though most of us only know each other online, it does feel like a family -- where else can you interact with dozens of other women in the same life stage as you, with the same baby-obsessed brain as you?

  This morning, one of the moms posted that her 14-month-old toddler, Reed, drowned last night in a shallow pond in their backyard. I won't link to her actual post -- it seems too personal -- but here is a news story about it. Her husband was home at the time, and after not seeing Reed for a few minutes, searched the house for him. However, Reed had wandered into the backyard, unbeknownst to his dad, and by the time his dad found him, Reed was already gone. It only takes a minute for a small child to drown, and of course the pond wasn't deep, either. Reed was already walking well, but I can only imagine that it's difficult to regain your balance and stand if you're a frightened toddler who's suddenly in the water and can't breathe.  At this age, it's easy to take your eye off your child -- they seem stronger and less frail than the tiny infants they once were, and yet, they're so active that something like this can literally happen in a minute or less.

  When I read that post, I started to cry. I don't know this woman in real life, and she's not even one of the people on the board whom I'm close to. But, I've certainly read her stories about Reed over the last few months, and seen the adorable pictures. Everyone on the board knew what words he could say, what he liked to eat, his latest tricks ... that's part of the information we share with one another. And now, he's gone. I can't even begin to imagine the pain -- and self-blame -- that the family must be feeling. If I start to imagine it, I get all emotional. It had been such a happy time for them -- the mom had recently revealed to us that she's pregnant again -- and now it's the darkest time in their lives. Many of us have been through the pain of a miscarriage ... and yet that must not even begin to register as a blip when compared to losing a living and breathing child, a child whom you've seen through the terribly difficult and trying stages of infancy, a child who is just starting to develop into his own person.

  So, if you have a child, please give him or her an extra hug today! And take extra safety precautions. This is a reminder that happiness is so easily lost.

  • 6:43 pm
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