On Saturday, June (my “little” sister) turned 25. Johnny and I were delighted to be able to join in on her quarter-century celebration! We started the evening with a delicious meal at a Korean noodle house, where we feasted on dumplings, noodles and a Baskin-Robbins ice cream cake with chocolate chip ice cream layered on top of chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting. Yum!

Me with the birthday girl; June’s yummy cake; Johnny and I enjoy the kids-free evening out (many thanks to my mom for holding down the fort while the boys slept)!

After dinner, we headed up to the ice rink. June and Charles had rented out the entire rink for an evening of broomball. We had to wait for the previous party to vacate the rink, so while we waited, I decided to try out the new, random “Hurricane Simulator” installed next to the rink. For $2, you can trap yourself in a phone-booth-sized stall and be subjected to 80-mph winds. The wind came down from the top, so if you huddled toward the bottom of the booth, it wasn’t as dramatic. I was hoping it would be more dramatic! Instead I just felt like I was in a giant blow dryer.

Look! Hurricane Simulator! And then me, escaping from the wind.

Afterward, with my wind-blown hair. Who needs a blowout when you can just pay $2 for the Hurricane Simulator?

I think Johnny took a video; I’ll post it on here later. I hammed it up for the spectators (June’s friends) by banging on the door while I was in there. Ha.

Soon afterward, it was time to play broomball. For those of you who don’t know, broomball is kind of like ice hockey, except you wear sneakers instead of skates, and you use a “broom” (really just a stick with a plastic piece at the end of it), and instead of a puck, you use a squishy ball. I haven’t played since my Latin Club days in high school, and Johnny’s never played. It was a lot of fun! Unfortunately, no one brought their cameras on the ice. We were all too busy playing. I worked up a sweat and shed my hoodie pretty quickly. The fact that we had to wear foam-padded helmets didn’t help the sweat issue. Yuck! It was really fun, though.

Johnny and I after broomball, with helmet hair; the ladies in our group (there was an equal number of guys)

Earlier in the day, we participated in another birthday celebration … this time for our friends Karthika and Peter’s one-year-old, Logan! We had a lot of fun. The food was yummy, and Logan was ADORABLE as he ate cake for the first time. They had a nice little playroom inside, too, which was where Derek and Jack chilled most of the time.

Jack, Derek and Logan, all fascinated with the packaging that Logan’s gift came in!

Here I am with the kids in the playroom.

Between the two parties, June, Charles and my mom came over with a couple of presents for Jack: A Buzz Lightyear polo and Buzz Lightyear sunglasses! Jack’s never worn sunglasses before, and upon putting them on, he commented, “It’s dark!” We cracked up. Now he loves the sunglasses and goes around trying them on, proclaiming, “Look! I’m cute!” Oh boy.

How cute is this pic of June and Jack?

Hope everyone had a great weekend! We’re so excited to be leaving on our road trip later this week.

Lately, Jack’s been into his Dr. Seuss books. His favorite is Oh, the Places You’ll Go! Jack’s copy is very precious to me, as it was given to me 11 years ago by Ann, my wonderful “pledge mom,” who is still one of my nearest and dearest friends, during Delta Zeta’s pledge mom week. Nearly every night, Jack requests that I read it to him, starting with the lovely note that Ann wrote on the inside front cover. By now, he’s probably memorized every word.

Tonight, during his bath, Jack announced, “Mommy, tomorrow I go the places I go.” My first reaction was, “Huh?” He repeated himself. “Tomorrow I go the places I go.” I realized that he was referencing the book.

“Oh!” I said. “And where’s that?”

“The place where everyone waiting,” Jack replied. Pause. Then, “But that’s not place for me! I go to the boom band place! Clang! Bang! Music!” He then got distracted and started splashing water everywhere, but after a minute or so, looped back to the conversation. “I go there tomorrow.”

“Sounds great!” I said. “Can I go too?”

Jack considered this, then said, “No, I go by myself. I go alone. You stay home with Mommy and Derek.” (I’m not sure why, but Jack’s doing this thing where he’ll list me or Johnny twice, but he’ll count the correct number of people. For example, he’ll say to me, “Three of us are going to a movie. You, Mommy, Daddy and Jack. Three of us.”)

It was a short little exchange, but it made me feel wistful. He’s growing up so quickly, to the point where he understands more complex books. Right now, he thinks he’s literally going to some physical destination where everyone waits, and then to some noisy “boom band place,” but during this conversation, I realized that someday, Jack will go to exciting places, literally and figuratively, all by himself. There will come a time when I’m not a direct part of his adventures, and when that time comes, I’ll know that I’ve done my parenting job successfully … but it will be difficult to let him go.

After the bath, Jack wanted to read Oh, the Places You’ll Go! (of course). He reiterated that tomorrow, he would go to the boom band place. Then, he asked me to “carry him into bed like a baby.” So I scooped him up and was hit once again by a bittersweet surge of wistfulness. In Jack’s mirrored closet door, I saw that his bottom half was totally dangling out of my arms. The circle of my arms that once so perfectly contained his entire body now only cradles his neck and his upper back. I had a flashback to a moment when Jack was five weeks old. I was trying desperately to rock him to sleep after a 2 a.m. feeding, but Jack was really alert and nowhere near sleep. I was tired and frustrated, and I just kept pacing my room with a tightly swaddled Jack in my arms. At one point, near tears, I caught sight of myself in a mirror, and thought, “He’ll never be exactly this little again.” For whatever reason, I committed the feeling of his weight in my arms, and his appearance at that moment — swaddled in a light blue cotton flannel blanket, dark hair sticking up wildly from his head, those giant ears, the wide eyes — to memory. At the time, I thought, “One day, you’ll actually look back on this sleepless night fondly.” Tonight, I did just that. The last almost three years have been an exciting blur — all of Jack’s infant and early toddler milestones, Derek’s arrival, the purchase of our first home, various celebrations with friends and family — that I haven’t had much time to reflect on how quickly Jack’s growing up. But, tonight it hit me just how much he’s changed since he was that warm little bundle in my arms. I don’t have any more bundles to hold. Derek’s weaned himself off of all his bottles except his morning bottle and no longer needs to be held or rocked to sleep. During the day, he’s eager to crawl and cruise, and he only wants to be held as a mode of transportation, or to check out something interesting at my eye level. I guess what I’m saying is: I miss my babies!

… but, I don’t miss them so much that I want to have another one. No, thank you. I’m eager to experience all the fun ahead with my big boys. But, be forewarned: Occasionally, I’ll drag you down my rose-colored memory lane!

We had a pretty low-key weekend. Unfortunately, Johnny had to work most of Sunday (boo!), but we made the most of Saturday and the little time that he was home on Sunday.

Saturday night, we went to a farewell bonfire for our friend Ben. I went to high school with Ben, and now he’s moving to take a history teaching position at a university in Nova Scotia — so far away! We had a great time at the bonfire, though. We had potatoes baked underneath the fire (so yummy with butter and salt sprinkled on top), and of course we devoured some s’mores. Johnny and I had booked a sitter, so we took advantage of the occasion to also enjoy a dinner without the kids.

Ben, Johnny and I at the bonfire. I felt very short.

We also just spent a lot of time playing indoors this weekend, since Jack was just getting over a little bug. The boys were hilarious together as they enjoyed each other’s company.

Derek’s personality is emerging big-time. He is quiet but dangerous. Seriously, he’s fast! Turn your head for a second, and he’s trying to climb up the lamp. I feel like I need to clone myself just to keep him out of trouble. The sneaky little thing doesn’t make a peep if he’s trying to do something bad, either. Jack is always narrating whatever he’s up to, be it good or bad. Before he could talk, Jack would also constantly be making little sounds — we never wondered where he was or what he was doing. How can two kids be so different?! I have a feeling I’ll be asking that for a very long time. But, they are both delightful in their own ways.

We’re gearing up for our cross-country drive to Michigan. Yes, I realize we’re insane — that’s the reaction we get about 95% of the time (to tell the truth, I’m getting just a tad sick and tired of hearing that from people. What, you think you’re the first person to tell me that it’s crazy to drive cross-country with young children? Thanks for raining all over my parade! Of course I put on my nice face and just say we’ll do our best, but what I really want to do is tell strangers to mind their own business unless they’d like to charter a private plane to take us there. Everyone has his or her own definition of what’s doable — for me, the thought of checking two car seats and lugging two kids and their paraphernalia through airport security, plus keeping a wriggly toddler in his own seat AND restraining a mobile baby in my lap, and THEN making a connecting flight and THEN renting a car and driving 4+ hours makes me want to vomit, even though it saves three days of traveling time). The other 5% are people after our own hearts … I just have such fond memories of road trips from when I was younger, and most importantly, it’s family togetherness time, just the four of us, where Johnny and I don’t have any work, errands or chores to do. With Johnny gone 12+ hours on weekdays, and so many things to do on weekends, it’s so rare to have that. I also belong to a minority of people who enjoys driving down an endless stretch of highway. The last time I got to do that was when we drove from NYC to LA, four years ago (then again, we didn’t have two kids in the backseat). I’m sure there will be frustrating moments on a daily (or even hourly!) basis, and who knows, it may turn out to be a totally bad idea, but we won’t know until we try it. If it’s terrible, then we’ll fly next year. The few families I know who’ve attempted such a long drive with a toddler and baby have reported that overall, they had a good time, so we’ll plan the best we can, and hope that it’s a success! At worst, it’s four days of whining, and then we’ll know better for next time. I’m really excited, though. Jack’s looking forward to watching DVDs in the car, and I have a ton of puzzles, the Leapster 2 video game, coloring and books to keep him entertained (plus snacks, of course). I’m more worried about Derek’s entertainment in the car. It does help that he’s now a pro at the snack trap and sippy cup. We’re mostly set for the trip — I booked our hotel stays last week, we’ve got our route printed out (and I’ve organized each day in a separate tab in a three-ring binder, and also have a little expandable pocket file for receipts organized by meals, gas and lodging, so I can plan more efficiently for future years’ road trips), and I’m starting to pack the boxes that I’m shipping over to my in-laws’ cottage (I’m shipping clothes for myself and the boys for July, along with some other necessities, ahead of us so we don’t have to take anything in the car except what we’ll need for the road trip). I also have a closet shelf full of snacks, drinks, toys/entertainment and other car essentials. It’ll be so great to relax for a whole month. I’ll miss Johnny (he’s flying back to work), but am looking forward to the time with my in-laws, and to see the boys playing on the beach. Jack can take tennis and swimming lessons, and plus I’ll have two extra adults’ help with the boys. Yahoo! Chris and Victoria will also be overlapping with us for a few days at the beginning for some extra family fun. I can’t wait! 

Oops, I totally forgot until today that I haven’t mentioned Johnny’s birthday. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, last Sunday, my darling husband turned 30. I still have more than three months to go until I hit that milestone, so for now, I’m taking every chance I get to gloat about the fact that I’m still in my 20s.  Of course, that’s not very fun, because Johnny’s actually not unhappy about being 30, but I’m a little reluctant to say goodbye to my 20s.

We celebrated with a night at Boardwalk 11, a karaoke bar, with a few friends, and Chris and Victoria. Fun times ensued, although I think next time we’ll opt for a room so that we don’t have to spend the evening watching American Idol-wannabes belt out song after song.

All is well on the home front. Derek is cruising like a champ, and it looks like he’ll walk any day now. He doesn’t crawl much; he has no patience for being on all fours. He’s also calling “mama!” quite expertly these days, and he will respond “nigh-nigh” when you say goodnight to him. It’s very cute! He’s also definitely moved on past baby food now, and is chugging whole milk. We’ve already gotten rid of one of his four daily bottles, and next week we’ll chuck the mid-day, post-lunch bottle. I plan to be done with bottles completely by his first birthday. There will be much celebration and fanfare (and a little wistfulness) when Johnny and I march the bottle-drying rack and bottle brush out to the recycling bin. Seriously, we are so tired of washing bottles! (We don’t stick them in the dishwasher because that seems to wear them out more quickly.) I am a little sad that my last baby’s growing up so quickly, but mostly I’m excited about all the fun stages to come. Right now he’s pretty darn adorable, though.

As for Jack, the biggest update is that we have been using a new discipline method called “1-2-3 Magic” (link below). One of the moms in my playgroup told me about it, and I noticed that the technique was really working well for her son, who’s just about Jack’s age. Jack’s pretty well-behaved for an almost three-year-old, but we definitely have our moments where he doesn’t listen, whines or breaks rules that he knows perfectly well. It’s tough not to get frustrated when a toddler is trying his best to push your buttons, and patience is definitely not my strong suit. I have an OK level of patience, but at 4:30 p.m. on a day that started before 7 a.m., it’s easy for me to get sucked into a bad cycle of trying to reason with Jack, then arguing with/yelling at him when that doesn’t work. I have spanked Jack a few times when I’ve been at my wit’s end, and always I have regretted it. I think spanking works with some kids, but for Jack, he just gets angrier, and then next time he gets mad, he hits. So that’s no good. So, anyway, even though we usually do pretty well, I wanted to be better able to stay calm but still show Jack that I mean business. We parents are the boss, not him! Shortly after my playgroup friend told me about the book, one of my mommy forum friends happened to post about it, too. I decided, with this much buzz (and with the good results I saw), I should check it out.

Well, I’m so glad I ordered it! The whole thing makes a lot of sense, it’s easy, and it’s working. I don’t want to rehash the whole book (and it’s really better to read the whole thing; it doesn’t take long. It took me only two short evenings to read it, and it’s written humorously), but the major concept is that for “obnoxious behaviors” (actions that you want your kid to stop doing, like throwing toys around or whining), you count them. The first time they do it, you say, “That’s 1.” The second time, “That’s 2.” The third time, it’s, “That’s three, time out.” Then you simply take them to their room and set a timer (one minute for each year of age; Jack’s almost three, so he gets three minutes). For egregious, unacceptable behaviors, like hitting or calling a parent a name, you can do an automatic “3″ (because it would just be silly to give your child three chances to hit you), and you can also tack on extra minutes for those offenses. There’s zero extra talking from the parent and no emotion. You also don’t explain or say, “Come on, don’t do that, you know better” before you count. You just start counting the first time they do something bad. The only exception is if the bad behavior is truly dangerous, or if it’s something new for them, and they legitimately might not know it’s a bad thing to do (such as, they go to a play gym and jump on a trampoline, then come home and start jumping on the couch. You can explain once that they’re not allowed to jump on the couch, but then after that, it starts being a countable offense). The whole idea is to let the consequence speak for itself, instead of muddling it up with a lot of parental discussion. After the time out, there’s also no discussion. You can adapt this method for kids up to 12, too, and it makes a lot of sense. They also discuss ways to motivate kids to do “start behaviors,” like getting ready to go in the morning or eating their dinner (those types of things, it’s not effective to count for). And they cover some other consequences you could use for older kids. Anyway, we explained it to Jack briefly, and then started counting a little over a week ago. He really gets it, and he’ll usually now stop behaviors on “one” or “two.” Soon we’ll start using the “start behavior” motivators to get him to brush his teeth and finish his dinner. I like how positive, calm and yet firm this method is. It definitely communicates that the parent is in charge, but it doesn’t involve excess emotion.

OK, I’m done with my infomercial about this book. Time to get some post-lunch dishes done!