August 11, 2009

  • Haircuts!

    Before I get into the entry, let me just point out that I’ve finally changed my header to acknowledge Derek’s birth! When you have a second, please change the title of my blog in your blog rolls. Thank you.

    This past weekend, everyone in our little family — except Derek — got haircuts!

    Jack’s hair was way out of line before … it was beginning to look like a bowl, and he always woke up from naps covered in sweat. Unfortunately, Jack doesn’t take well to haircuts. In fact, the last time Johnny took Jack to get a cut, they had to leave halfway through because Jack was throwing such a huge tantrum. It doesn’t matter whether we take Jack to a kids salon or offer him bribes — he acts like he has nerve endings in his hair. He’s gotten his hair cut multiple times (say, six or something) because it grows so fast, and each time, he acts the same way. So we decided just to get him a buzz cut, so that it lasts longer. Johnny took him to a kids haircutting place nearby, and apparently this time Jack behaved slightly better.

    Before and after
    Month Old 024.jpg  Month Old 029.jpg

    And one more of the “after” where Jack’s face isn’t scrunched
    Month Old 026.jpg

    I also had to run out and do something about my hot mess of a head of hair. The perm I got over a year ago still hasn’t grown out completely, so the top of my hair looked flat, whereas the bottom looked like a huge poufy mess. I’ve never been so relieved to get my hair chopped off! (Nothing too drastic, just shoulder length with some layers.) Johnny also got his standard cut to avoid having a Chia Pet look about him. Since we had all gotten cleaned up, my mom took some family pictures, and they turned out well!

    Month Old 027.jpg

    Look! Jack’s even smiling in this one!
    Month Old 028.jpg

    And, yes, finally I can wear that floral maxi dress as it was intended … without a huge pregnant belly in it. However, the hem was much longer than it was the last time I wore it! Ha.

    OK, I know I promised I’d write about what it was like to be a mom of two, but I’ll save that for the next entry, when I’ll also answer the questions from the comments section of my last entry.

August 6, 2009

  • Derek’s One-Month Checkup

    Derek turned one month old yesterday, and this morning we had his pediatrician appointment. He’s now nine pounds! That’s more than an ounce of weight gain every day since his 12-day weight check. I know it’s not much compared to some babies who gain three pounds or more in the first month, but I’m proud anyway.  I also know he’s grown longer because today one of his onesies was tight lengthwise. I won’t know how much Derek grew lengthwise until the two-month appointment, though, because our new pediatrician doesn’t start measuring length and doing percentiles until the two-month mark. She says things are more accurate if you give the babies a bit more time to grow before getting obsessed with percentiles.

    Per postpartum month traditions, my mom and I got dressed up yesterday and took some pictures with Derek. We’ll get make-up pictures with Johnny over the weekend. I bought a great purple floral dress in Taiwan, and I got to wear it yesterday. It was a little tight around the belly, but it fit, and I’m glad, because I had to buy it without trying it on (I was pregnant at the time).

    Derek and Mommy (I need a haircut!)
    Month Old 006

    My mom and Derek
    Month Old 017

    Here’s Derek wedged in the corner of our couch
    Month Old 013

    Close-up
    Month Old 020

    With the first month over, that means we’re 1/6 of the way through the most difficult newborn period (I personally think baby-rearing gets a lot easier after the 6-month mark). Woo-hoo!

    Over the weekend, when I have more time, I’ll write about what it’s been like so far to be the mom of two. I know some of you have asked. (Short answer: Hectic!)

August 3, 2009

  • Four Weeks

    If you can believe it, Derek is already four weeks old today. I continue to be amazed by the human body and how quickly it heals (in my case) and grows (in Derek’s case). Derek and I have both come a long way in four short weeks!

    We’ve been keeping busy here, as you might imagine. This past Tuesday, Johnny’s parents came into town. We moved Jack temporarily into the den (there’s a twin bed there) so that they could stay in Jack’s room, since his bed is a full-sized one. It was so novel to actually have enough space to accommodate five adults and two children! We had a great time with them. For the first time, Jack really interacted with his Nana and Papa. When we were in Michigan over Christmas, Jack was still in his stranger-danger phase, plus he wasn’t as verbal then. This time, he had a blast playing with Nana and Papa and milking their attention for all it was worth. One afternoon, they took him to an indoor play place and then for ice cream … lucky boy!

    Reading with Papa

    Snuggle time

    Of course, Jack didn’t forget that he has his Ah-Ma here as well. Saturday morning, he enlisted her aid in stuffing many toys up his shirt. I’m pretty sure Jack was pretending to be pregnant again, since he kept touching his swollen belly and saying, “Mommy! Mommy!” He also kept trying to bend down, with one hand on the small of his back, and pretend-groaning. Then, he had my mom fashion a makeshift cape. More patting of the belly and “Mommy! Mommy!” ensued.

    I guess I looked like this while pregnant? I’m just glad I wasn’t gestating as many babies.

    Posing with my mom

    While we’re on the topic of Jack’s silliness, check out how he loves to ham it up every time he sees the camera these days.

    He is his father’s child, all right

    OK, well, I’m not sure how I got so sidetracked! I meant to write about Derek, and look what happened. Anyway, Nana and Papa loved meeting their newest grandson.

    Derek is growing more by the day. When he was first born, he looked like a clone of Jack, but as the days pass, it’s clear that he has a completely different face. His nose seems a little taller, his chin is definitely more pronounced, and his face is a bit narrower. This is all a bit clearer in person. We’ve now heard several people say that whereas Jack is cute, Derek will be handsome (not that Jack won’t be handsome, but I do think Derek will be a little edgier than Jack). I can’t wait to see Derek’s personality emerge. I’m thinking (hoping??) that he’ll be quieter than Jack.

    Yes, I am quite dashing!

    We also had a lovely visit from our friends Tracy and Nick this week. Tracy and I were in graduate school together. She and Nick were in town from Michigan for a graduation and made a long drive just to see our new house and Derek. Sadly (for me), they left their year-old son William at home with grandparents. I met William last summer, when he was only six weeks old, and would have loved to see him as a toddler! Oh, well, next time.

    Tracy, me and Derek

    Derek has been a (knock on wood) really good baby so far. We don’t hear from him much — probably because we know better what we’re doing this time and can anticipate his needs before he has to cry. At night, Derek’s been going down around 6:30 or 7 p.m., nursing around midnight, then again at around 3 a.m., and waking up for the day at 7 a.m. I think that’s pretty good for a four-week-old! Of course, “going to bed” is a loose term, since he still naps most of the day away. If Derek were my only child, life would be pretty easy … however, throw a rambunctious, attention-demanding toddler into the mix of nursing-diapering-soothing, and things get really hectic! Thank goodness my mom is here. It was also SO helpful to have Johnny’s parents here to wrangle Jack. In the evenings and on weekends, Johnny and I pretty much divide and conquer: He’s on Jack duty, I’m on Derek duty. Luckily, both kids are usually down by 8 p.m., so then we get our own time again.

    Johnny’s got one on each arm

    One attempt at a family picture

    Attempt number two … would have been nice if Derek weren’t crying!

    Yesterday, Derek finally had his first bath at home. His umbilical cord stump didn’t fall off until he was three weeks old, and then we had to wait for his circumcision to heal (since he was in the NICU for a couple of days, they wouldn’t do it at the hospital. So, I took Derek to a pediatric urologist last week). Finally, he was ready for the big moment!

    First, we assembled the baby tub. Jack found it pretty amusing to see Derek in the newborn sling

    Then, I undressed Derek, bundled him in a towel and carried him to the bathroom

    As with Jack’s first bath, my mom did the honors.

    Not sure about this!

    Looking like a turkey!

    That’s about it for now. Coming up this week: Derek turns one month old on Wednesday! We head to the pediatrician Thursday morning for his one-month weight check. I’ll post after that!

July 24, 2009

  • Five Years Later

    Five years ago, on a bright, sunny day, Johnny and I got married in a gorgeous church overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

    Here I am, putting the old ball and chain wedding ring on Johnny

    Newly minted husband and wife

    No, my hair and makeup have never looked this good again  Note to self: Must hire hair and makeup team for everyday use

    Afterward, we celebrated with family and friends at our awesome Chinese banquet-style reception.

    Here we are with a bunch of the ladies from my sorority

    Father-daughter dance

    I smeared some cake on Johnny’s nose

    You could say that Johnny and I were just kids then — I was two months away from my 24th birthday, and Johnny had just turned 24 the previous month. At the time, we thought we’d already been through a lot together, having dated for five and a half years before our wedding day. But, little did we know that after our first five years of marriage, we would have:

    • One dog
    • Two sons!
    • Moved four times (three apartments and then into our first home, and one of those moves was cross-country)
    • An MBA (for Johnny)
    • Three student loans (to finance said MBA)
    • Three job changes (transfer to the Los Angeles office and then quitting to stay home and work part-time for me; the intense but awesome Mattel job for Johnny post-grad school)
    • A giant mortgage (but a lovely remodeled home to show for it )
    • Lost two beloved grandparents

    And of course, what’s not in the list, but always a given, is that we’ve had lots of fun. Last night, Johnny and I were talking about all the things that have happened in the last five years, and we concluded that this was probably the most eventful five-year period we would have. I mean, hopefully, never again will we move four times in five years, and we better not have two more children! (If we do, I’m going to donate them to Angelina Jolie or Madonna.)

    So, it’s been an intense five years, and through it all, Johnny and I have really worked as a team, and we’ve been partners and best friends. We’re also extremely lucky in that we know we can always count on our families to support us through any challenges. It is a wonderful thing to wake up every day, as in love with your spouse (and even more in love with, in some ways) as you were on your wedding day. My wish for me and Johnny is that we will feel that way forever. Happy fifth anniversary, hon!

    p.s. Johnny found out that the traditional wedding gift for a fifth anniversary is wood. This made us giggle like immature seventh graders for a couple of days. I suppose we’re still kids after all!

July 20, 2009

  • Checking In

    Once again, I have to apologize for dropping off the face of the blogosphere. I’ve sorely neglected my Xanga subs and the other blogs I frequent — I promise to get back on track soon! But, since most of you guys are fellow mommies, I’m sure you understand and will give me a free pass this time (right?).

    I wanted to pop in quickly with a few updates, so here goes.

    Derek

    Derek turned two weeks old yesterday! He went for a pediatrician appointment Friday, when he was 12 days old. He had already surpassed his birth weight by an ounce (he weighed in at 7 pounds, 11 ounces at the check up), and had gained three ounces since his first pediatrician appointment (at six days old). Worrywart that I am, I asked the doctor if it was OK that Derek had gained half an ounce a day, since it seemed so little to me! She reassured me that he was doing great, and that all she had been looking for was him getting back to birth weight by 14 days. Whew! Now, we go back when Derek is one month old.

    So far, Derek’s been a fairly low-key baby (knock on wood that this continues!). He’s either sleeping, eating, looking around, or crying. So far, we haven’t heard that many cries, and when we do, he’s either hungry or sleepy, so we’ll count ourselves lucky! I guess I blocked out most of Jack’s newborn days, because it seemed like Jack was very interactive, but Johnny reminds me that what I’m remembering is from when Jack was six or seven weeks old. Oh, how quickly we forget! I can’t wait until Derek is a few months old. For me, that’s when the real fun begins.

    And now, some pictures of our littlest man.

    Yes, I’m cute!

    July 111

    We have a similar picture of Jack with this “Blue Steel” expression on his face

    July 107

    My mom gave Derek his first hair washing at home

    July 080

    Me

    Thanks to those of you who’ve asked me how I’m doing. Recovery has gone really well. I have to say, the 43 hours of labor for the VBAC were well worth the much easier recovery. Sure, the, uh, repairs down there caused a lot of discomfort, but even that had passed by the time I’d been home from the hospital for three days. Nothing beats being able to sit up and walk around right away. Plus, I just feel better physically than I did last time around. I’m also happy that so far, I’ve lost 20 of the 28 pounds I gained. Just eight more to go! But, toning up again so that my pre-pregnancy clothes fit right will be another matter. As soon as six weeks hits, I’m going running!

    Nursing is also going well this time. With Jack’s tongue tie, breastfeeding was just impossibly painful, so I was tied to the pump for many months. I really wish I’d gotten Jack’s tongue clipped, because with Derek’s normal tongue, there’s no pain (knock on wood), just a bit of sensitivity in the beginning. I’m hoping to exclusively breastfeed for as long as possible, although this time I don’t have a set goal. Even though discomfort isn’t an issue, it’s still a major commitment. They say the first six to eight weeks are hardest, and it’s true! I breastfeed at least eight times a day, for half an hour to 40 minutes at a time. Although Derek does do one 4- to 5-hour stretch of sleep at night, of course I still need to get up once or twice a night … after being spoiled by uninterrupted nights of sleep for the past year and nine months (Jack started sleeping through the night pretty reliably at three months of age … one of the advantages of bottle feeding!). Of course, as time goes on, the nursing sessions will naturally decrease and become shorter, but boy, is it a full-time job in the beginning! I’m lucky I have my mom to help with Jack when Johnny is at work. This experience is also fraught with anxiety, since I’m new at this. I constantly wonder if Derek’s getting enough, and if he fusses, my first thought is that he’s hungry. When he sleeps for a long stretch, I wonder if he’s lethargic because he’s underfed … you get the idea.  As time goes on, I’m sure I’ll gain more confidence. For now I’m hanging on to the fact that he is gaining weight, and taking it one day at a time.

    Aside from Derek’s feeding needs, there are a few concerns keeping me up at night. I’m due to begin doing my part-time work-from-home thing again at the beginning of September. Even with my mom’s help for the year, I wonder how I’m going to accomplish anything with two kids around. I used to get a lot done during the day while Jack napped or played, and occasionally I’d need to work after he went to bed. It wasn’t a big deal because I knew Jack would sleep through the night. But now, I’ll probably have to do most of my work after the kids go to bed at night, and for the next few months, I know I won’t get to sleep through the night. I predict being exhausted, and I wonder how I’ll have the brain power to do anything. Then there’s the issue of potty training Jack … will I ever have time to pick that up again? Or, as a matter of fact, to do any activities/classes with him that don’t involve turning on the TV? I think I’ll do as Johnny and my mom advise: Focus on myself for now, and trust that in a few weeks I’ll feel mentally and physically strong enough to pick up these pieces of my life again. I do remember feeling this way after Jack was born — questioning how I’d ever make it to anything on time, how I’d ever shower again, how I’d manage to do work, and I did do all those things and more (like train for and run a half-marathon!), so I’ll take comfort in that.

    For fun, here’s a self-taken pic of me, Johnny and Jack from this past weekend. Johnny and I don’t look so hot in it, but Jack’s cute!

    July 110

    Long-Awaited Xanga Meetup

    Drumroll, please … last Friday, Johnny and I finally got to meet Shelly, her husband Shaun and their adorable kids, Hannah and Aidan! Shelly and I have been friends for a long time — we “met” on a Shiba forum, before either of our first kids were even anywhere in the picture. Then Shelly also started blogging on Xanga, and we’ve kept up with each other’s major life events since then. Since Shelly had Hannah about a year before I did, and then Aidan arrived about six months before Derek, I frequently go to her with questions about pregnancy/baby care. Plus she’s just fun and easy to talk to. We were supposed to meet up one time when Johnny and I were still on the East Coast, but that didn’t work out, so when Shelly mentioned that she and her family would be coming to San Diego so that Shaun could attend a work conference, we jumped at the chance to arrange a meeting at last. Shelly and Shaun made the long drive from San Diego to see us and brought us so many nice gifts for Jack and Derek — it was really sweet of them. I had been a little nervous about the meetup — suppose it turned out that Shelly and I didn’t get along in person? — but I needn’t have worried. It felt like we were seeing old friends!

    Group shot!

    July 096

    Hannah and Aidan were so adorable. Hannah’s three, and she was really patient with Jack. The two of them ran around together, and Jack was sorry to see her go. Aidan is the cutest (and biggest!) six-month-old ever.

    Hannah and Jack made a game of climbing on and off the guest bed in the den

    July 101

    It was such a fun afternoon. Thanks again for driving up, Shelly!

    OK, time to get some rest while Derek and Jack are both napping. More later!

July 13, 2009

  • Jack’s Two-Year Appointment

    I’m a delinquent mom — I didn’t write an entry for Jack’s actual birthday yesterday. I cannot believe my first baby is two! Seriously, how did that happen?

    Johnny took Jack to his two-year appointment today (I’m seriously going to miss having Johnny at home when he goes back to work on Thursday). The pediatrician pronounced Jack a perfectly healthy, on-track little boy. At two, Jack is at:

    Weight: 27.5 lbs (50th percentile)
    Height: 35 inches (75th percentile)

    I believe these are the percentiles Jack has been at since birth, so once again he’s consistent!

    Although the numbers show that Jack isn’t really large by any stretch of the imagination, he’s just been seeming so big to me lately compared to Derek. I get a bit emotional thinking about how two years ago, I was stressing about Jack’s feedings, his sleep schedule … everything! And now he’s a “real person,” running around, guzzling milk, requesting snacks and saying funny things. The baby days really do pass so quickly — I think this is both a good and bad thing.

    OK, both kids are asleep (yay!), so I’m going to eat some dinner. Hope everyone is having a great week!

July 9, 2009

  • Derek Is Home!

    Today was a big day for us: Johnny and I brought Derek home from the hospital! The NICU had originally told us that Derek would need to stay for the entire seven-day course of antibiotics, which would have meant no homecoming for him until next Monday, whereas I came home yesterday. I was already devastated to go home without him, much less for almost a week! But, this morning they told us that the tests they ran showed that Derek never had an infection at all (grr), and that the fluid in his lungs had been reabsorbed. In other words, he was perfectly fine all along — but I guess better safe than sorry. So, they discontinued the antibiotics and discharged him this afternoon. Yay!

    Derek, all dressed in his coming home outfit

    July 041

    So tiny in Jack’s infant car seat!

    July 045

    Jack was very excited to see his “dee-dee” (Mandarin for “little brother”) again.

    Yay, a new playmate!

    July 048

    Here’s a cute video of the two brothers:

    On a sad, poignant note, Johnny’s grandfather, the namesake for Derek’s middle name, passed away this morning. It didn’t escape us that on the day we brought home a new life, one ended. Johnny’s grandfather was a wonderful man who led a long, full life, and he’ll be missed by many people. Johnny will be flying out for the funeral early next week; Jack, Derek and I will be there in spirit.

    Good night, everyone.

July 7, 2009

  • Derek’s Birth Story and Pictures!

    Thanks to everyone for all the kind words and congratulations yesterday, not just here, but also through texts, phone calls, emails, Facebook and my online mommy forums. Johnny and I truly appreciate all the comments, and we feel so loved. I know you all understand that this is one of those rare times when I can’t answer everyone right away, but I am reading every word of every comment and email, and I promise I will reply eventually! (Those of you who were around for Jack’s birth can vouch for this. :) )

    Well, as promised, I’m here to share Derek’s birth story, some pictures and updates on both kids. Many of you have read about the story and seen the pics in other places already, so feel free to skip! Besides filling in the people who primarily keep up with my through my blog, I’m also just recording this for my own pleasure for the future.

    Labor/Birth Experience

    On Friday, July 3, I had my first real contractions. Sure enough, just like last time, the telltale sign was that they began in my lower back and radiated all through my entire abdomen, not just random spots like with Braxton-Hicks. The first contractions were around 8 p.m. or 9 p.m. They were about 10 minutes apart, though not always, and lasting only 30 to 45 seconds long. At this point, they were very mild. Johnny, my mom and I were all very excited, and Johnny and I checked through our hospital bag one more time to make sure we had everything we needed. I couldn’t really sleep because every 10 to 15 minutes, a contraction would hit, and while it wasn’t painful, it was uncomfortable. Plus, I was excited! So, I passed the time by posting on my mommy forums, reading blogs and watching TV. Finally I was able to lay down and catch a bit of rest in between the contractions.

    The midwives and the labor & delivery unit at the hospital had instructed me to come in when my contractions were intense (as in, I couldn’t talk through them) and spaced consistently between three to five minutes apart. On Friday night, I naively expected that Johnny and I would be heading to the hospital sometime Saturday morning. Well, Saturday morning comes and goes, and not only have the contractions not increased in frequency or intensity, but they space out even more! I was discouraged. No Fourth of July baby, it looked like. My mom, Jack, Johnny and I all headed to the mall. I wanted to walk around somewhere besides the house. While at the mall, I began getting very intense contractions that made my face turn red. I couldn’t talk through them. When we got home, those contractions began hitting consistently, every 10 minutes. A couple of hours later, around 6 p.m., they were coming every seven minutes. I got into the shower, rechecked my hospital bag, and told Johnny to get a little rest. By 10 p.m., they were coming every five or six minutes. Sometimes they would go back to seven minutes, but always very intense pain and for at least a minute each. I didn’t want to go in too early, but at the same time, I was cognizant of the fact that as a VBAC candidate, I shouldn’t labor too long at home because the hospital would need to monitor me for a uterine rupture. Finally, at 11:30 p.m., I told Johnny we should go. The contractions were every four to five minutes at that point.

    Since it was so late on a holiday, we figured traffic wouldn’t be too bad. There is a major hospital (actually, two of them) in Torrance, where we live, but since I was delivering at UCLA Ronald Reagan Medical Center (which is equipped to do VBACs), we had farther to drive. Well, who knows what was going on, but the freeway was packed at 11:30 p.m., and what was supposed to be a half-hour trip took one whole hour, during which my contractions were three minutes apart. Yikes! When we finally got up to L&D, they examined me and told me I was already five centimeters dilated, 80% effaced and that Derek was at -2 station. We were elated! We had come in at a perfect time, they said, and they predicted the rest of the labor would go well. Johnny and I settled into the huge labor and delivery room shortly after 12:30 a.m., and I anticipated continuing on my medication-free labor. I did meet with the anesthesiologist, per hospital protocol, and I made it clear that I didn’t want an epidural.

    At 4 a.m., the doctor who works with the midwife came in and checked me again. She determined that I was now 7 cm centimeters dilated, 90% effaced, and Derek was still at -2 station (+2 station is push-ready). She said I was doing well, but that things would go faster (and Derek would descend more easily) if she broke my “huge, bulging” bag of waters. I told her I was cool with that if the midwife thought it was a good idea. The doctor consulted the midwife, who agreed that the bag should be broken, so we went ahead and did that (it was such a weird feeling, that warm water rushing down my legs!). The doctor warned me that things would get very intense from here on out and asked if I wanted that epidural. Cheerfully, I said no. She said she would be back at 6 a.m. to check on me. I figured, I’ve completed the active phase of labor all on my own … surely I can make it in the final three centimeters of the transition stage au naturale, too! I braced for intense contractions, and sure enough, they came. I didn’t time them because they were so painful when they did come, and seemed to come one on top of the other. Thank goodness Johnny was there — he helped me get into different positions, reminded me to breathe deeply and refrained from corny jokes. ;) He also applied counterpressure to my back when I needed it. I was so tired at this point (having not slept since Friday night) that sometimes I fell asleep between contractions. Believe me, it is unpleasant to be woken up by a “Ooooh, I’m going to die!” sort of pain. But, I was really proud of myself for getting through the contractions when they happened. I took my midwife’s advice and stood up or got on all fours for many of the contractions, which made them more intense but would supposedly also increase their power to dilate me and get Derek into prime birthing position.

    So, at 6:30 a.m., after two and a half hours of intense contractions, I thought for sure the doctor would tell me I was dilated to at least 9 centimeters. Well, she sticks what seems to be her entire right arm up there, and then pronounces that I have not changed at all since 4 a.m. No more dilation, after all that pain. I nearly died. I was almost at the end of my rope at that point, and I needed to hear that I had made progress. She explained that Derek was posterior, meaning that while he’s head-down, he’s facing out toward my belly, instead of facing toward my back (the ideal position for babies to be born is head-down, facing the mom’s back — in other words, when they come out, the back of their head is up toward the ceiling. It allows them to pass through the birth canal better). With posterior babies, the labor is very painful, because there’s a lot of back pain (those of you who have been through this with posterior babies know that “a lot” of back pain is an understatement!), and apparently the contractions can be spaced farther apart, but come in twos when they do come. So while it feels really painful, they’re not all that effective. That’s what happened in this case — once I hit 7 centimeters, the back labor contractions came only every five minutes, but two at a time, as opposed to one at a time but more frequently before 7 centimeters. The doctor and midwife consulted and recommended putting me on an extremely light dose of Pitocin, which brings on contractions. (It’s usually not recommended for VBACs because of the increased risk of rupture, but apparently it’s OK in very light doses.) The doctor then told me that the Pitocin would result in contractions even more painful than those I’d experienced already, and more frequently, and asked if I wanted the epidural. The midwife told me it was up to me (in other words, not to feel forced into a decision).

    I thought about it, and I said yes. Johnny asked if I was sure, because he didn’t want me to regret anything afterward. All I had done throughout this pregnancy was talk about natural childbirth. But, I had made up my mind. If I hadn’t gone through 35 or so hours of labor already, and if I wasn’t sleep-deprived, I probably could have dealt with the extra-strong contractions that Pitocin would bring. However, I was tired from the previous 35 hours, and I knew I didn’t have the strength to deal with the final 3 centimeters and then the pushing all by myself. I had a feeling that I needed to rest a bit. Once I consented to the epidural, the anesthesiologist was in the room almost immediately. Unfortunately, while he was setting up, my contractions (even before the Pitocin) began coming fast — one every two minutes, and hard. At the same time, I had to curl up my back so the epidural catheter could be placed, and a nurse was trying to place external baby monitors on my belly (to listen to Derek’s heart rate). There was a lot going on, not to mention the horrible pain. That was my lowest point in the labor. I was squeezing Johnny’s hand and just whimpering. No tears were coming out; I didn’t even have the energy to cry for real. I just whimpered, “Oh my God, stop touching me!” (By the way, some people asked if I screamed during labor, and the answer is, no, I didn’t. Screaming takes a surprising amount of energy. Most of the time I just whispered, or just breathed. I did squeeze my eyes shut a lot, but had no extra reserves for screaming!) I was rather incoherent when people asked me questions at that point.

    Finally, the epidural catheter was placed, but it was another hour before I felt relief, because for whatever reason, my feet went numb, but my belly retained all feeling! I told the nurse, “Listen, I’m not having the baby in my feet! Fix it!” At last, they got the dosage correct, and when the relief hit, it was wonderful. Even though the contractions were frequent (especially once the Pitocin drip began), I only felt pressure alerting me to the fact that contractions were occurring, but no pain associated with them. I was able to fall asleep. As great as that felt, I was convinced that with all the interventions going on — the Pitocin, the epidural and the fact that I was bed-bound – I was probably headed for a repeat c-section, since these interventions were all known to cause labor to stall, and make it harder for a baby (especially a posterior baby) to descend. But, my midwife and Johnny were wonderfully optimistic, and my midwife said, “Well, Derek would not be the first posterior baby to be born to a mom who was bed-bound from an epidural, so don’t give up hope.”

    After only 1.5 hours (at 10 a.m.), when my midwife came in to check on me, I told her I felt like I really needed to poop. She got really excited and checked me for progress. She’d thought it was too early to check, but lo and behold, I was already fully dilated to 10 centimeters, and Derek’s head was at +2 station: In other words, time to push! That was why I felt like I needed to go #2. The epidural apparently relaxed me enough to cause all that to happen. Derek was no longer fully posterior — he had rotated some as he descended. The midwife asked if I would be willing to wait one hour to push, though, so that I could “labor down” — that is, let the contractions do some more work to get Derek as low as possible. In that hour, she would also have me repeatedly flip from my right side to my left side, and back again, so that he could maybe become fully anterior. I said yes, but by the time that hour was up, boy, I was ready to push. I swear I thought I was going to poop out a baby. Ha. My midwife said it was time and that Derek had indeed become anterior! She went and gathered a doctor and a nurse, and the delivery implements. Then she came back and gave me a lesson on pushing.

    We began pushing shortly after 11 a.m. I was really excited, and had some strength from resting. I could not believe that I would get to have my VBAC after all. That got me through the next 2.5 hours of pushing. Toward the end, it became really painful — they’re not kidding when they say that the baby crowning feels like a “ring of fire.” Plus, my arms, legs and abs became really sore from the effort. Anyway, the midwife and nurse said I was an excellent pusher, but that since it was essentially my first birth (since I never pushed with Jack), it would take a bit longer. It really was fine until the crowning happened, and then it was the worst stinging sensation I’ve ever felt. The midwife used a lot of massage oil to help prevent tearing, but she also had to stick her hand up in there to help guide Derek out. OUCH!

    At one point, right before Derek was born, the midwife stopped what she was doing and said, “Get the chief resident. There’s more blood than usual.” I could tell by her face that she was nervous, and that made me nervous. To my face, she said everything was fine, and was very calm. Johnny could also see what was going on, since he had been supporting one of my legs as I pushed. He turned a bit pale but also reassured me. I was thinking maybe my uterus had ruptured and I would need to get an emergency c-section. The resident came over in about 0.1 second — lightning fast — and thankfully declared it must just be an internal tear of some sort. Turns out, Derek had his hand up by his chin, and on his way down, he had scratched a second-degree tear along the inside of my vagina, which resulted in all the blood. I asked Johnny later, “How much blood?” and he said, “Well, let’s say that it was probably a whole baby’s worth of blood.” He said he thought I might die, and that’s why they’d all turned so pale. I’m so glad I couldn’t see what was going on down there! Everyone kept their cool, though, and after the chief resident came, the delivery kept going as though nothing had gone on. (By the way, I kept expecting Dr. Bailey to walk in when they said “chief resident.” Yes, I’m a dork even while losing tons of blood, apparently.)

    A few minutes after that blip on the radar, Derek’s head had popped through, and the midwife tugged the rest of him free. It was an amazing feeling to feel him coming out, and to see him being born. I felt so powerful and so … complete as they immediately put him on my chest while they clamped the cord. Johnny got to cut the cord, and we were able to hold him right away. They cleaned him up a bit on my belly (his first action was to poop tarry meconium all over me … thanks, Derek!), then took him to another area right there in the room to clean him up some more. He cried almost right away, and both Johnny and I were near tears with joy. He looked exactly like newborn Jack!

    I just could not believe I’d had my VBAC, and I kept thanking the midwife and the staff. I really believe that at any number of points, they could have said, “OK, into the OR we go,” but instead they really tried everything to make it happen. I told them it was a dream come true for me, and I meant it. Finally, I had the experience I’d always pictured. I was also proud of myself for not being stubborn and recognizing that my body needed help by accepting the epidural. As you all know, I had wanted to do it all natural, but I think in this case, the epidural was really what enabled me to have the VBAC in the end, by relaxing me and enabling me to regather some strength.

    The other wonderful thing was that I could sit up right away! But, the not wonderful thing was spending the next hour with my legs in stirrups while they fixed up the tear Derek had left. Ouch! It was a small price to pay, though. I do have to reiterate again that both a c-section and a vaginal birth are huge battles for a mom to fight, so no matter which way a birth goes, a mom deserves lots of credit for going through the experience.

    Pictures

    OK, what you’ve all been waiting for!

    The first picture we have of the three of us, shortly after Derek was born

    Derek 015

    Derek looked like a clone of his brother

    Derek 016

    Tired but happy!

    Derek 022

    We do have a picture almost exactly like this of Jack

    Derek 006

    And this was me immediately after pushing. WHEW! A total of 42.5 hours … I won’t let Derek forget that (“clean your room! I was in labor with you for almost 43 hours!” Just kidding)

    Derek 004

    Jack meets Derek for the first time!

    Derek 019

    Post-Birth Updates

    So I’m doing fine. Very tired, still, and sore down below, but walking around and recuperating well. Jack met Derek yesterday afternoon and was delighted by him. He kept saying “Dee-dee,” which is the Chinese word for “little brother.” Apparently, when he woke up this morning, he asked my mom for “Mama, Baba, Dee-Dee,” and when he saw Johnny this afternoon (Johnny stopped at home to get some things), he wanted Johnny to read him the “Your New Baby” picture book we got him, and also asked for his brother (and for me … aww!).

    Derek is doing well also, although he had to go to the NICU. At some point shortly after birth, Derek breathed some fluid into his lungs — we suspect it was excess fluid that wasn’t suctioned out of his mouth, although no one really knows about these things. It’s fairly common, but newborns can’t cough out liquid as quickly as we adults can. It’s only a small amount, and it will evaporate or be resorbed by his body on its own, but the hospital likes to be extra certain that there’s no infection, because sometimes liquid in the lungs can lead to an infection. So, they took him to the NICU and started him on antibiotics, just in case. His stats look great — he’s 100% saturated with oxygen on his own, he’s eating well, he’s perfectly round and pink, so that’s awesome. The NICU doctors agree that he’s healthy, but once they’ve started antibiotics, they need to finish the round of treatment, so right now they’re saying they’d like to keep Derek for the whole seven-day course. That would mean I would go home without him. :( It’s very sad, but I’m mostly annoyed that I have to be separated from him rather than worried that something’s really wrong. Please keep your fingers crosssed that they change their minds about the seven-day stay!

    The NICU nurses have been calling me every time Derek is awake, so I nurse him every chance I get. He’s been doing great with that, and my milk should come in tomorrow. I’ve also been pumping during the two hours of the day that the NICU is closed to parents (otherwise we can go in anytime we want), and we’ve both been holding Derek and spending time with him every chance we get. It’s sad to go into the NICU, though, and see the sick babies. It makes us really thankful to have Derek, and we hope he doesn’t have to stay the whole week. If he does, though, I’ll come see him every day, nurse him and drop off pumped milk. The lactation consultant came to see us today and said that Derek’s latch was perfect, so she doesn’t foresee any problems with a separation like this. Let’s hope she’s right!

    OK, this is ultra-long. I’ll end this now and go to bed … it’s taken hours to write, between pumping and nursing Derek and getting my vitals checked. Thanks for reading!

July 5, 2009

  • Baby Surprise Is Here!

    I am extremely proud to introduce:

    Derek Bennett O’Neal
    Born at 1:38 p.m. California Time on July 5, 2009 (at 39 weeks and 1 day)
    Weighing in at 7 lbs 10 ozs (two ounces smaller than Jack), measuring in at 21.5 inches (two inches longer than Jack)

    And yes, I did get my VBAC — I labored for 40 hours and pushed for a little over 2.5 hours, and it was so worth it!

    Derek and I are both doing well, and Johnny was the best labor coach I could have asked for. I promise to post the full birth story and pictures later (maybe tomorrow), but for now, I am going to put my fried brains to sleep! I’m about to pass out from the events of the last few days. Just wanted to keep you all posted! In the meantime, here’s a cameraphone photo of Derek:

    derek.jpg

    Oh, and as for the name: Derek is a name that Johnny and I both like, but it has no particular significance. Bennett is in honor of Johnny’s maternal grandfather, whose name is Gerard Bennett.

    So there you go … more later! Thanks to everyone for their kind emails and FB postings!

  • Baby Surprise is Here!

    Xangaland, I am so proud to introducing the newest member of our family, formerly known as Baby Surprise:

    Derek Bennett O’Neal, born at 1:38 p.m. Pacific Time on July 5, 2009, at 39 weeks and 1 day, after 40 hours of labor and 2.5 hours of pushing. He weighed in at 7 lb 10 oz (two ounces smaller than Jack), and measured in at 21.5 inches (two inches longer than Jack).

    As for the name, Derek doesn’t have any particular significance — we just both liked the name. Bennett is in honor Johnny’s maternal grandpa, Gerard Bennett.

    Derek and I are both doing well, and Johnny was an amazing labor coach. I am extremely tired, so I’ll save the birth story for some other time (soon, maybe tomorrow), and also post some pictures. Just wanted to keep you updated!