As promised in my most recent entry, here’s the update on the Chicago trip I took with Jack. I’m really glad that we had the opportunity to do this, because Jack and I haven’t had much “fun time” alone since Derek’s birth, and he’s now old enough to start appreciating trips like this. He might not remember it (OK, so he won’t remember), but he’s capable of appreciating experiences, and I genuinely had a blast with him as we took excursions around the city. The trip was also a much-desired chance for me to catch up with some dear friends in Chicago, many of whom I haven’t seen in three, four, or even six years!

Jack and I left the cottage on Friday morning and drove for about eight hours, but only because we took a long lunch stop and also a gas/snack/potty stop. The driving was really pleasant — I managed to pretty much miss rush hour traffic going into the city, and I really enjoyed talking with Jack along the way. He was very excited to stay with “Auntie Brinda and dog Toby.”

We got to Brinda’s condo just in time for an early dinner. Jack took to Brinda right away.

So happy!

We went to a kid-friendly neighborhood restaurant, and Jack ate pretty independently while Brinda and I enjoyed some cocktails with our dinner. It’s amazing how relaxing dining out with just one kid feels when you’re used to dining out with two! Sure, we still had to interfere with statements like, “No, don’t throw all the crayons on the floor” and “The fork is for eating, not for eye-stabbing,” but it was really nice to be able to eat my own meal in relative peace, and to catch up with Brinda. Afterward, Jack settled in for bedtime without a hitch, which gave me and Brinda the chance to chat some more (and polish off a whole bottle of white wine … oops!).

Saturday morning, Brinda had some volunteer work and stuff to do around the house, so Jack and I went to a coffee shop to get breakfast, then played a little at the nice playground nearby.

Jack stopped to pick this dandelion on Brinda’s block

We came back to the condo in time to meet my friend Meghan and her almost five-month-old baby, Charlie. We spent the morning and early afternoon at the Lincoln Park Zoo.

Jack and I in front of the zoo; Jack makes a funny face at the kangaroo area

This was the first time I went to a zoo with Jack without a stroller, and you know what, he did pretty well, despite all the walking we did. Heck, I was tired by the time we were done! Jack’s favorite parts of the zoo trip were probably the giraffes … and the pizza for lunch, LOL. I last saw Meghan when I was a bridesmaid in her June 2006 wedding, and now there we were, eating lunch at the zoo with our kids. Crazy! 

After the zoo, we drove back to Brinda’s. After a brief rest, Jack and I headed out on our own to go to Ghirardelli’s near Michigan Avenue. Jack’s had ice cream, of course, but he’s never had a huge sundae like they have at Ghirardelli’s, and plus I wanted him to ride the L. He was thrilled even to be waiting on the L platform, and he nearly toppled over with excitement on the actual train itself.

When you’re three, even public transportation is exciting!

A cute story about the L: Every time the doors closed, Jack would imitate the recorded message and say, “Doors closing” in a deep voice, and whenever we left the train, he would wave bye to all the fellow passengers. Once time, the driver of one of the trains waved to Jack, and Jack had the reaction I would have if I ran into, say, Brad Pitt or something.

Jack was beside himself at the “ice cream house,” where I ordered a Domingo (hot fudge sundae with bananas, chopped almonds, whipped cream and a cherry on top) for us to share.

Of course, I gave Jack the maraschino cherry; check out how Jack posed for the pic at Ghirardelli’s!

Afterward, we strolled Michigan Avenue for a while before heading back to Brinda’s.

Saturday night, I had arranged for a babysitter to come to Brinda’s, so that I could go out to dinner with six of my friends. (One of my friends referred her sister-in-law’s regular sitter to me.) I was a little apprehensive about how Jack would take to a new sitter in a strange environment, but he greeted Karolina (the sitter) at the door with a hug, then proceeded to show her all his trains. I asked him, “Are you sad that Mommy’s going out?” And he replied, “No, Mommy, I be happy when you’re gone. I’m going to play trains with Rolina.” Um, OK then! Karolina reported that they played for a while after we left, then Jack cleaned up his trains and stated that he would like to go to bed. They went to the potty, she read him two books, and Jack went to sleep. What?! Maybe I should get a sitter every night! But, anyway, that put me at ease for my evening out. We went to Cafe BaBaReeba in Lincoln Park and enjoyed delicious tapas and sangria while catching up.

Here I am with Kerri-Simone and Amanda, and then a group pic of everyone who was there

I really do miss my Chicago friends! It’s so nice to have good friends with whom you have a long history — these girls knew me before I was married, before I was a mom, and it’s wonderful not to have to explain myself or to provide context. Despite the fact that many years have passed since our college (or early career) days, it still feels like just yesterday when we were all in the same place.

Sunday was a big day for me and Jack. In the morning, we took a train and a bus to meet Kerri-Simone and her daughter, Remi, at Navy Pier. We rode the Ferris wheel, the carousel (well, Jack and I did; Remi’s still too little to ride that one) and then Kerri-Simone treated us to the Children’s Museum and some lunch.

Jack’s happiness at being on the bus; Jack across from the Navy Pier entrance; Jack posing with the giant Kraft mac and cheese noodle; Jack with the Chicago skyline behind him. Notice his grin! Such a little model.

Jack and I on the Ferris wheel; Kerri-Simone and beautiful Remi; on the carousel

Here are some pictures from the Children’s Museum, which was SO cool.

It was an awesome morning/early afternoon. Kerri-Simone and I met on my first day of work. She had been there for a few weeks (and had come in with prior experience), so she was at once my go-to work buddy/mentor and also a fellow new employee. We quickly became good friends, and she’s definitely one of the best things to come out of my consulting career. We used to go out to coffee and lunch (and sometimes happy hour) and dish about our relationship issues, and dream about our future families. I think our younger selves would have been thrilled to see that we would one day have a playdate together.

After Navy Pier, Kerri-Simone drove us to the Field Museum. Jack’s very into dinosaurs, and he had been waiting all weekend to go to the “big museum.” The Field Museum, of course, is home to the famous Sue, the most complete T. Rex skeleton found to date. She’s right in the entry of the museum. As soon as Jack saw her, he shouted, “DINOSAUR! Look, Mommy, T. Rex!” and started roaring. He also tried to scale the railing around Sue to try to get in closer.

That’s Jack, climbing on the railing; outside the Field Museum

We bought our tickets, then took a closer look at Sue. We then headed upstairs to see the dinosaur hall, and we walked through a new exhibit about evolution and mass extinctions on Earth. You know, I’m ashamed to say that Jack took more of an interest in the museum than I did. He wanted to stop and watch most of the videos, and he wanted me to explain a lot of what was written on the cards. He also asked a lot of follow-up questions that I actually had difficulty answering. (If only Jack would ask about celebrity trivia! Then I could help!) I’m going to have to start Googling on my phone for answers. After the exhibit, we visited the “Sue Store,” where I told Jack he could pick out one item. He picked a stuffed brachiosaurus. He was going to go for the T. Rex, but then he saw the brachiosaurus and declared that he wanted the “happy dinosaur” as a “bedtime friend,” so we got that one. Of course he wanted the big version that’s about half his size, but a promise is a promise. We then went to the special 3-D “Waking T. Rex” movie. Jack wore his glasses the whole film (it was about 25 minutes). He got a little scared at the scene in which the T. Rex was eating the “rhino dinosaur” (aka triceratops), but it was really gory and bloody. Afterward, we walked around the museum some more, then got some ice cream and headed home. Jack was a trooper — it was a long walk from the museum to the L station (made worse by the fact that, a quarter of the way there, Jack declared he had to poop, so we had to head all the way back to the museum!), but we made it back to Brinda’s, and then out for a Thai restaurant for a farewell dinner with Brinda and Karen. Jack had some of my glass noodles with vegetables and squid, and he was very entertained by the awesome book that Karen got him.

We left early Monday morning, before Brinda had to go to work, and enjoyed a pleasant drive back up to the cottage. As I type, Jack is sleeping with his baby bear in one arm, and Brachio (that’s short for brachiosaurus) in the other arm. The dinosaur’s long neck is curved around Jack’s face. It’s so cute. I’m not sure when my first baby turned into such a fun little guy, but sometime while I was busy being pregnant and caring for a newborn, Jack’s become a big boy. This trip was good for us — instead of spending 90% of my time telling him what he couldn’t do, we spent the bulk of the time doing fun things together. It was great. Johnny and I are going to try to each take one kid for an “alone weekend” (or day) each year.

Thanks for reading!

Hello from Michigan! There’s so much to write about that I almost decided to bury my head in the sand. Since my last entry, we’ve:

• Successfully driven from California to Michigan with the boys
• Spent a lovely week at the cottage, overlapping with Chris, Victoria and Maddy at the tail end of their vacation here
• Celebrated both boys’ birthdays
• And, I’ve taken Jack on our special mother-son four-day weekend to Chicago.

Whew! I decided it would be a shame not to document all this, even if it’s a lot to cover. So that this doesn’t become a monstrously long post that no one reads, I’m going to cover the road trip and our first few days at the cottage in this entry, and save the Chicago trip (which was this past weekend) for another entry. Most of you have probably seen the pictures on Facebook already, anyway!

Road Trip

So, the road trip went really well! We left the evening of July 1. We wanted to get to Las Vegas so that we could have a full day of driving on Friday (July 2) and not deal with LA traffic. Johnny had to work that day, so we left after dinnertime and rolled into Vegas a little before midnight. June was awesome and met up with us at our hotel (Embassy Suites, so that we could have the boys sleep in their own little living room, where they’d be less disturbed by us), along with Charles, Brian and Andrew, so that they could help us get our stuff up to the hotel room. Let me tell you: Spending just one night in a hotel room, when you have two small kids, entails a lot of gear! We had a cooler with us filled with drinks for the trip, so we lugged that up to the room each night to restock the ice (I also had some fresh fruit in the cooler that I cut up for us each night, to combat the unhealthy food we were eating on the road). Then there was Jack’s inflatable twin-size travel bed, plus his pillow, nightlight and stuffed bear from home. Each of us had a duffel bag (the kids shared one) … you get the idea. Here’s a picture of how much stuff we brought up to the hotel room each night:

Jack insisted on helping to push the luggage cart each morning

But, you know, it was really helpful to have all the stuff — it helped the kids settle into their sleep routines, even though we were in four different hotels on the trip. Even when we had a room (instead of a suite), and even though it was hours past their bedtimes, they fell and stayed asleep without much of a hitch.

The kids, tuckered out in one of the hotels. Instead of lugging up our own pack-n-play, I borrowed a hotel from a crib each night. If a room had an extra bed, we had Jack sleep in that instead of on his inflatable bed (one less thing for us to set up)

So, the lodging aspect of the trip went well. The driving part was pretty good, too. We split up our trip like this:

• July 1: Drive from Torrance to Vegas
• July 2: Vegas to Glenwood Springs, CO
• July 3: Glenwood Springs, CO, to Omaha, NE (this was the tedious day … it was about 12 hours of driving!)
• July 4: Omaha, NE to Chicago (only about 8 hours … felt like a breeze!), where we had dinner with Ann and Jared, then stayed at the Sheraton in Evanston
• July 5: Evanston, IL to Frankfort, MI (such a fun day — we spent the morning walking around Northwestern, reminiscing about our college days, then took the leisurely drive up to the cottage and arrived around 7 p.m.)

Our typical day on the road had us getting up around 8 a.m. (the boys slept in until then, or even later, because of how late we rolled into the hotels), eating free breakfast at the hotel, loading up the car, and being on the road by 10 a.m. or a little before. It took some time to repack the trunk and set up Jack with his entertainment for the first leg of the trip. We would then stop for lunch, gas up if needed, then drive again until late afternoon, when we stopped for a snack (or gas) and a potty break. Then we’d drive until dinner, which took place at the boys’ usual bedtimes (7 p.m.), then drive until we hit our destination. We usually switched drivers every 200 miles, and we alternated who took the first leg each day, so we ended up taking an equal number of legs. Each day was full of driving (with the exception of the last day), but it was fun — I’m always awed by how big our country is, and the scenery changes as you drive from West to East. It kind of sucked losing time as we drove through the time zones, but we’ll gain it back on the drive home.

Derek was in what Johnny called “Oregon Trail mode” on the drive: We had expected him to be the more difficult child to deal with, since he doesn’t have as many entertainment options, and is rear-facing. But, he was completely happy to nap, look out the window, eat from his Snack Trap (or more accurately, litter his car seat with snacks from the cup), gaze at Jack or just stare into space. He didn’t fuss more than a handful of times. Jack was, as predicted, easy to entertain (the portable DVD player was a godsend, as was this collapsible play tray that strapped around his waist to hold puzzle pieces, toys, coloring books and snacks. The Leapster 2 that Ann lent us would have been a godsend, but, after all that prep, I FORGOT TO BRING IT! Johnny will bring it back with him for our return trip). However, the person in the passenger seat definitely had a more difficult job than the person driving, because that person had to reach back to retrieve items that Jack dropped. We did set up some ground rules with Jack beforehand so that he understood that the driver couldn’t help him pick up toys, and that the passenger only had limited capacity to help. Jack had a couple of tantrums related to dropping things that we couldn’t reach while driving, but time-outs in the car (where we’d ignore Jack for three minutes) really helped with those, and in general he behaved really well. In addition to his toys and stuff, Jack also made up stories along the way — there was a particularly cute 20 minutes where he made up superheroes, and he and Johnny came up with what their powers might be. Here are some pictures from the trip.

The kids enjoyed bathing together at each hotel

We made the most out of our meal and snack stops!

Oh, and a big accomplishment: Jack stayed dry across America! He’s done really well on the potty-training front, but this was the ultimate test. We didn’t stop that often, but Jack held it, and if he needed to go, he told us (there was one time that we had to stop on the side of windy, very busy highway). I was so proud! I can now definitely declare him potty-trained (during the day, anyway. He still wears a Pull-Up at night, but I don’t care about that). For a three-year-old boy, I think he did really well.

As I mentioned, the last evening of our trip, we met up with Ann and Jared in Chicago. I hadn’t ever seen their condo, so we finally did that (it’s beautiful!), and then they treated us to dinner at Leona’s. It was so wonderful to get together with them — Ann was literally in her last days of pregnancy (she just had a gorgeous daughter, Audrey, on July 12 … Jack’s birthday!). I hadn’t seen Ann in years. It was high time! Unfortunately, in all the excitement, I only got one picture … it’s a cute one of Jared and Derek.

Derek’s usually shy around new people, especially men,but he reached out his arms for Jared immediately. So cute!

The next day, we had breakfast at Clarke’s, a restaurant we frequented in our college days. It was surreal to be back there with the boys!

Afterward, we took a sentimental stroll around campus, taking pictures in front of the Delta Zeta house, the arch, the Rock, and the dorm where we met.

It was so special to see Jack bounding along paths that Johnny and I used to walk every day. College felt like it was just yesterday — shows just how fast time flies.

Happy Birthday, Jack and Derek!

We got to the cottage Monday evening and had three full days of overlap with Chris and Victoria, who had been there for almost two weeks already. They left Friday morning, so we had most of the week together (along with my in-laws). We made the most of that time. On Tuesday afternoon, we had a joint birthday party for Derek, Jack and my father-in-law, whose birthdays are July 5, July 12 and July 6, respectively. We had lunch, cupcakes and also did the “fate-grabbing” thing — it’s a fun Chinese tradition where, on a baby’s first birthday, you set out a bunch of items in front of him, each symbolizing a career. Whichever one he grabs is what he’ll be. Some of you may recall that Jack grabbed money. Let’s see what Derek did!

Getting ready to decide his destiny …

… and he grabs the SPATULA! I have a celebrity chef on my hands!

It was so cute. I’m kind of sad that that’s the last time I’ll get to experience that tradition. That is, until June has kids. Ha.

Derek and Jack enjoyed the cupcakes. And, look at our family now!

I can’t believe Johnny and I are parents to a one-year-old and a three-year-old. They are amazing boys. Sometimes I’m sad that I missed out on a daughter, but then I feel blessed that I have two such wonderful kids, and I think that maybe God or whoever decides these things made Jack and Derek extra-great to make up for the no-girl thing.  I mean, they have their moments, and they definitely keep me on my toes, but the kids have brought us a lot of joy, and Johnny and I are enjoying parenthood — it’s a team effort! We are also extremely fortunate to have such supportive families. I don’t know what I’d do without my mom so close by, and without my in-laws’ yearly extended visits! Not everyone is lucky enough to have her mom come help out each day.

Anyway, Jack and Derek have grown so much. Just look at this:

Newborn Jack on the left, newborn Derek on the right

Ah, and today they’re both so big. Sniff, sniff. But, as nostalgic as I am sometimes for those baby days, I am definitely glad not to look like this anymore!

Other Fun Times at the Cottage

Aside from the birthday celebrations last week, we also went to the beach, ate a nice dinner out at the country club and just enjoyed quality time together.

Jack in his beach gear; Derek (aka Water Baby — he LOVES the water!) and Jack at the beach

Dave, who’s very beloved by Jack, patiently let Jack lead him around the beach; a family pic

My in-laws gave the kids adorable batik print clothes from the Bahamas, and we tried (unsuccessfully) to get the cousins to all look at the camera at the same time.

Just a couple of cute pictures:

Last Thursday night, a family friend babysat while we six adults had a lovely dinner at the club.

On Friday, I took Jack to Chicago (but will update about that in the next post). Johnny, my in-laws and Derek stayed at the cottage. Johnny left Sunday to fly back to LA (I miss him! But he’ll be back in two weeks to spend a few days here and drive back with us), and I returned yesterday. Today, Jack had his first tot tennis lessons, I went for a refreshing run along the lake, and we all went to the beach again.

Yes, Jack is picking his nose in that second picture

The original intent had been to take Jack out in the kayak, but it was too choppy today. However, we did get some cute pictures of him in a lifejacket.

OK, that’s it for now. I’ll try to update about Chicago tomorrow. And, I promise to make it around to my subs soon!

On Saturday, June (my “little” sister) turned 25. Johnny and I were delighted to be able to join in on her quarter-century celebration! We started the evening with a delicious meal at a Korean noodle house, where we feasted on dumplings, noodles and a Baskin-Robbins ice cream cake with chocolate chip ice cream layered on top of chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting. Yum!

Me with the birthday girl; June’s yummy cake; Johnny and I enjoy the kids-free evening out (many thanks to my mom for holding down the fort while the boys slept)!

After dinner, we headed up to the ice rink. June and Charles had rented out the entire rink for an evening of broomball. We had to wait for the previous party to vacate the rink, so while we waited, I decided to try out the new, random “Hurricane Simulator” installed next to the rink. For $2, you can trap yourself in a phone-booth-sized stall and be subjected to 80-mph winds. The wind came down from the top, so if you huddled toward the bottom of the booth, it wasn’t as dramatic. I was hoping it would be more dramatic! Instead I just felt like I was in a giant blow dryer.

Look! Hurricane Simulator! And then me, escaping from the wind.

Afterward, with my wind-blown hair. Who needs a blowout when you can just pay $2 for the Hurricane Simulator?

I think Johnny took a video; I’ll post it on here later. I hammed it up for the spectators (June’s friends) by banging on the door while I was in there. Ha.

Soon afterward, it was time to play broomball. For those of you who don’t know, broomball is kind of like ice hockey, except you wear sneakers instead of skates, and you use a “broom” (really just a stick with a plastic piece at the end of it), and instead of a puck, you use a squishy ball. I haven’t played since my Latin Club days in high school, and Johnny’s never played. It was a lot of fun! Unfortunately, no one brought their cameras on the ice. We were all too busy playing. I worked up a sweat and shed my hoodie pretty quickly. The fact that we had to wear foam-padded helmets didn’t help the sweat issue. Yuck! It was really fun, though.

Johnny and I after broomball, with helmet hair; the ladies in our group (there was an equal number of guys)

Earlier in the day, we participated in another birthday celebration … this time for our friends Karthika and Peter’s one-year-old, Logan! We had a lot of fun. The food was yummy, and Logan was ADORABLE as he ate cake for the first time. They had a nice little playroom inside, too, which was where Derek and Jack chilled most of the time.

Jack, Derek and Logan, all fascinated with the packaging that Logan’s gift came in!

Here I am with the kids in the playroom.

Between the two parties, June, Charles and my mom came over with a couple of presents for Jack: A Buzz Lightyear polo and Buzz Lightyear sunglasses! Jack’s never worn sunglasses before, and upon putting them on, he commented, “It’s dark!” We cracked up. Now he loves the sunglasses and goes around trying them on, proclaiming, “Look! I’m cute!” Oh boy.

How cute is this pic of June and Jack?

Hope everyone had a great weekend! We’re so excited to be leaving on our road trip later this week.

Lately, Jack’s been into his Dr. Seuss books. His favorite is Oh, the Places You’ll Go! Jack’s copy is very precious to me, as it was given to me 11 years ago by Ann, my wonderful “pledge mom,” who is still one of my nearest and dearest friends, during Delta Zeta’s pledge mom week. Nearly every night, Jack requests that I read it to him, starting with the lovely note that Ann wrote on the inside front cover. By now, he’s probably memorized every word.

Tonight, during his bath, Jack announced, “Mommy, tomorrow I go the places I go.” My first reaction was, “Huh?” He repeated himself. “Tomorrow I go the places I go.” I realized that he was referencing the book.

“Oh!” I said. “And where’s that?”

“The place where everyone waiting,” Jack replied. Pause. Then, “But that’s not place for me! I go to the boom band place! Clang! Bang! Music!” He then got distracted and started splashing water everywhere, but after a minute or so, looped back to the conversation. “I go there tomorrow.”

“Sounds great!” I said. “Can I go too?”

Jack considered this, then said, “No, I go by myself. I go alone. You stay home with Mommy and Derek.” (I’m not sure why, but Jack’s doing this thing where he’ll list me or Johnny twice, but he’ll count the correct number of people. For example, he’ll say to me, “Three of us are going to a movie. You, Mommy, Daddy and Jack. Three of us.”)

It was a short little exchange, but it made me feel wistful. He’s growing up so quickly, to the point where he understands more complex books. Right now, he thinks he’s literally going to some physical destination where everyone waits, and then to some noisy “boom band place,” but during this conversation, I realized that someday, Jack will go to exciting places, literally and figuratively, all by himself. There will come a time when I’m not a direct part of his adventures, and when that time comes, I’ll know that I’ve done my parenting job successfully … but it will be difficult to let him go.

After the bath, Jack wanted to read Oh, the Places You’ll Go! (of course). He reiterated that tomorrow, he would go to the boom band place. Then, he asked me to “carry him into bed like a baby.” So I scooped him up and was hit once again by a bittersweet surge of wistfulness. In Jack’s mirrored closet door, I saw that his bottom half was totally dangling out of my arms. The circle of my arms that once so perfectly contained his entire body now only cradles his neck and his upper back. I had a flashback to a moment when Jack was five weeks old. I was trying desperately to rock him to sleep after a 2 a.m. feeding, but Jack was really alert and nowhere near sleep. I was tired and frustrated, and I just kept pacing my room with a tightly swaddled Jack in my arms. At one point, near tears, I caught sight of myself in a mirror, and thought, “He’ll never be exactly this little again.” For whatever reason, I committed the feeling of his weight in my arms, and his appearance at that moment — swaddled in a light blue cotton flannel blanket, dark hair sticking up wildly from his head, those giant ears, the wide eyes — to memory. At the time, I thought, “One day, you’ll actually look back on this sleepless night fondly.” Tonight, I did just that. The last almost three years have been an exciting blur — all of Jack’s infant and early toddler milestones, Derek’s arrival, the purchase of our first home, various celebrations with friends and family — that I haven’t had much time to reflect on how quickly Jack’s growing up. But, tonight it hit me just how much he’s changed since he was that warm little bundle in my arms. I don’t have any more bundles to hold. Derek’s weaned himself off of all his bottles except his morning bottle and no longer needs to be held or rocked to sleep. During the day, he’s eager to crawl and cruise, and he only wants to be held as a mode of transportation, or to check out something interesting at my eye level. I guess what I’m saying is: I miss my babies!

… but, I don’t miss them so much that I want to have another one. No, thank you. I’m eager to experience all the fun ahead with my big boys. But, be forewarned: Occasionally, I’ll drag you down my rose-colored memory lane!

We had a pretty low-key weekend. Unfortunately, Johnny had to work most of Sunday (boo!), but we made the most of Saturday and the little time that he was home on Sunday.

Saturday night, we went to a farewell bonfire for our friend Ben. I went to high school with Ben, and now he’s moving to take a history teaching position at a university in Nova Scotia — so far away! We had a great time at the bonfire, though. We had potatoes baked underneath the fire (so yummy with butter and salt sprinkled on top), and of course we devoured some s’mores. Johnny and I had booked a sitter, so we took advantage of the occasion to also enjoy a dinner without the kids.

Ben, Johnny and I at the bonfire. I felt very short.

We also just spent a lot of time playing indoors this weekend, since Jack was just getting over a little bug. The boys were hilarious together as they enjoyed each other’s company.

Derek’s personality is emerging big-time. He is quiet but dangerous. Seriously, he’s fast! Turn your head for a second, and he’s trying to climb up the lamp. I feel like I need to clone myself just to keep him out of trouble. The sneaky little thing doesn’t make a peep if he’s trying to do something bad, either. Jack is always narrating whatever he’s up to, be it good or bad. Before he could talk, Jack would also constantly be making little sounds — we never wondered where he was or what he was doing. How can two kids be so different?! I have a feeling I’ll be asking that for a very long time. But, they are both delightful in their own ways.

We’re gearing up for our cross-country drive to Michigan. Yes, I realize we’re insane — that’s the reaction we get about 95% of the time (to tell the truth, I’m getting just a tad sick and tired of hearing that from people. What, you think you’re the first person to tell me that it’s crazy to drive cross-country with young children? Thanks for raining all over my parade! Of course I put on my nice face and just say we’ll do our best, but what I really want to do is tell strangers to mind their own business unless they’d like to charter a private plane to take us there. Everyone has his or her own definition of what’s doable — for me, the thought of checking two car seats and lugging two kids and their paraphernalia through airport security, plus keeping a wriggly toddler in his own seat AND restraining a mobile baby in my lap, and THEN making a connecting flight and THEN renting a car and driving 4+ hours makes me want to vomit, even though it saves three days of traveling time). The other 5% are people after our own hearts … I just have such fond memories of road trips from when I was younger, and most importantly, it’s family togetherness time, just the four of us, where Johnny and I don’t have any work, errands or chores to do. With Johnny gone 12+ hours on weekdays, and so many things to do on weekends, it’s so rare to have that. I also belong to a minority of people who enjoys driving down an endless stretch of highway. The last time I got to do that was when we drove from NYC to LA, four years ago (then again, we didn’t have two kids in the backseat). I’m sure there will be frustrating moments on a daily (or even hourly!) basis, and who knows, it may turn out to be a totally bad idea, but we won’t know until we try it. If it’s terrible, then we’ll fly next year. The few families I know who’ve attempted such a long drive with a toddler and baby have reported that overall, they had a good time, so we’ll plan the best we can, and hope that it’s a success! At worst, it’s four days of whining, and then we’ll know better for next time. I’m really excited, though. Jack’s looking forward to watching DVDs in the car, and I have a ton of puzzles, the Leapster 2 video game, coloring and books to keep him entertained (plus snacks, of course). I’m more worried about Derek’s entertainment in the car. It does help that he’s now a pro at the snack trap and sippy cup. We’re mostly set for the trip — I booked our hotel stays last week, we’ve got our route printed out (and I’ve organized each day in a separate tab in a three-ring binder, and also have a little expandable pocket file for receipts organized by meals, gas and lodging, so I can plan more efficiently for future years’ road trips), and I’m starting to pack the boxes that I’m shipping over to my in-laws’ cottage (I’m shipping clothes for myself and the boys for July, along with some other necessities, ahead of us so we don’t have to take anything in the car except what we’ll need for the road trip). I also have a closet shelf full of snacks, drinks, toys/entertainment and other car essentials. It’ll be so great to relax for a whole month. I’ll miss Johnny (he’s flying back to work), but am looking forward to the time with my in-laws, and to see the boys playing on the beach. Jack can take tennis and swimming lessons, and plus I’ll have two extra adults’ help with the boys. Yahoo! Chris and Victoria will also be overlapping with us for a few days at the beginning for some extra family fun. I can’t wait! 

Oops, I totally forgot until today that I haven’t mentioned Johnny’s birthday. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, last Sunday, my darling husband turned 30. I still have more than three months to go until I hit that milestone, so for now, I’m taking every chance I get to gloat about the fact that I’m still in my 20s.  Of course, that’s not very fun, because Johnny’s actually not unhappy about being 30, but I’m a little reluctant to say goodbye to my 20s.

We celebrated with a night at Boardwalk 11, a karaoke bar, with a few friends, and Chris and Victoria. Fun times ensued, although I think next time we’ll opt for a room so that we don’t have to spend the evening watching American Idol-wannabes belt out song after song.

All is well on the home front. Derek is cruising like a champ, and it looks like he’ll walk any day now. He doesn’t crawl much; he has no patience for being on all fours. He’s also calling “mama!” quite expertly these days, and he will respond “nigh-nigh” when you say goodnight to him. It’s very cute! He’s also definitely moved on past baby food now, and is chugging whole milk. We’ve already gotten rid of one of his four daily bottles, and next week we’ll chuck the mid-day, post-lunch bottle. I plan to be done with bottles completely by his first birthday. There will be much celebration and fanfare (and a little wistfulness) when Johnny and I march the bottle-drying rack and bottle brush out to the recycling bin. Seriously, we are so tired of washing bottles! (We don’t stick them in the dishwasher because that seems to wear them out more quickly.) I am a little sad that my last baby’s growing up so quickly, but mostly I’m excited about all the fun stages to come. Right now he’s pretty darn adorable, though.

As for Jack, the biggest update is that we have been using a new discipline method called “1-2-3 Magic” (link below). One of the moms in my playgroup told me about it, and I noticed that the technique was really working well for her son, who’s just about Jack’s age. Jack’s pretty well-behaved for an almost three-year-old, but we definitely have our moments where he doesn’t listen, whines or breaks rules that he knows perfectly well. It’s tough not to get frustrated when a toddler is trying his best to push your buttons, and patience is definitely not my strong suit. I have an OK level of patience, but at 4:30 p.m. on a day that started before 7 a.m., it’s easy for me to get sucked into a bad cycle of trying to reason with Jack, then arguing with/yelling at him when that doesn’t work. I have spanked Jack a few times when I’ve been at my wit’s end, and always I have regretted it. I think spanking works with some kids, but for Jack, he just gets angrier, and then next time he gets mad, he hits. So that’s no good. So, anyway, even though we usually do pretty well, I wanted to be better able to stay calm but still show Jack that I mean business. We parents are the boss, not him! Shortly after my playgroup friend told me about the book, one of my mommy forum friends happened to post about it, too. I decided, with this much buzz (and with the good results I saw), I should check it out.

Well, I’m so glad I ordered it! The whole thing makes a lot of sense, it’s easy, and it’s working. I don’t want to rehash the whole book (and it’s really better to read the whole thing; it doesn’t take long. It took me only two short evenings to read it, and it’s written humorously), but the major concept is that for “obnoxious behaviors” (actions that you want your kid to stop doing, like throwing toys around or whining), you count them. The first time they do it, you say, “That’s 1.” The second time, “That’s 2.” The third time, it’s, “That’s three, time out.” Then you simply take them to their room and set a timer (one minute for each year of age; Jack’s almost three, so he gets three minutes). For egregious, unacceptable behaviors, like hitting or calling a parent a name, you can do an automatic “3″ (because it would just be silly to give your child three chances to hit you), and you can also tack on extra minutes for those offenses. There’s zero extra talking from the parent and no emotion. You also don’t explain or say, “Come on, don’t do that, you know better” before you count. You just start counting the first time they do something bad. The only exception is if the bad behavior is truly dangerous, or if it’s something new for them, and they legitimately might not know it’s a bad thing to do (such as, they go to a play gym and jump on a trampoline, then come home and start jumping on the couch. You can explain once that they’re not allowed to jump on the couch, but then after that, it starts being a countable offense). The whole idea is to let the consequence speak for itself, instead of muddling it up with a lot of parental discussion. After the time out, there’s also no discussion. You can adapt this method for kids up to 12, too, and it makes a lot of sense. They also discuss ways to motivate kids to do “start behaviors,” like getting ready to go in the morning or eating their dinner (those types of things, it’s not effective to count for). And they cover some other consequences you could use for older kids. Anyway, we explained it to Jack briefly, and then started counting a little over a week ago. He really gets it, and he’ll usually now stop behaviors on “one” or “two.” Soon we’ll start using the “start behavior” motivators to get him to brush his teeth and finish his dinner. I like how positive, calm and yet firm this method is. It definitely communicates that the parent is in charge, but it doesn’t involve excess emotion.

OK, I’m done with my infomercial about this book. Time to get some post-lunch dishes done!

Wow, I’ve forgotten to update for so long that I’m not quite sure how to cover everything that’s happened! Most everyone who reads my blog is also my friend on Facebook, so sometimes I’m too lazy to post again here. (If you haven’t added me, please do! I’m just Beverly O’Neal on FB.)

Two weekends ago, our friends Ann and Erik came to stay with us for a few days of their SoCal vacation. Ann and I have been friends for a couple of years now through my July 2007 moms bulletin board, but this was the first time we met face-to-face. We had a great time! We ate a lot, hung out, went to the botanical garden, and went on a double-date without the kids Saturday night. It was great because Ann and Erik totally understand what life is like with kids around (they have two boys also, ages almost 3 and 5), so they were unfazed when Jack threw tantrums or when Derek was fussy. They were completely helpful with entertaining Jack and Derek, and as luck would have it, Ann is a nurse, which came in extremely handy because Derek was very sick when they were here (he’s fine now). Here are some pictures from our great weekend.

Double date: dinner followed by a visit to a wine bar. We had a great time, despite the fact that I was running a pretty high fever. Next time, we shall all be healthy!

Jack tries to get in on the picture that Ann and I are taking at the botanical garden

Family pic!

Last weekend, I got a rare treat: An overnight trip away from home! I went with my parents, June and Charles to Las Vegas, to help June get settled into her rental house there. She’s there for a three-month optometry clinic. The poor girl sees about 60 patients a day! We’re all very proud. Anyway, we drove off Saturday morning with two cars full of June’s stuff, and returned on Sunday afternoon. We all stayed in a fantastic suite at the Palazzo, and we enjoyed the Wynn buffet, and even went clubbing at XS on Saturday night (well, our parents didn’t, but June, Charles, June’s friend and roommate Brian, and I did)! Don’t get me wrong, I love my boys (all four of them, Atari included), but it was awesome to spend an extended period of time with my family, and to enjoy a few meals where my attention wasn’t constantly on the boys.

June and I with our parents at the Wynn buffet (sorry these are so large; I’m linking from FB, being too lazy to upload them here)

June and I at the Venetian, on the way back from the club

At the club

It was a great trip. Now we’re looking forward to next month, when we leave for our summer trip to Michigan. Jack’s very excited to see his Nana and Papa, and he’s anticipating being able to watch DVDs in the car (we’re driving, so we told him we would be spending several nights at hotels, and that he would be able to watch movies in the car). Oh! I can’t believe I almost forgot to mention that Jack’s played his first video game. Ann was generous enough to lend us one of her boys’ Leapster 2 handheld game consoles. We gave it to Jack to see what he would do with it, and he turned it on right away, and with only a little help, completely got how to use the stylus. I got him a Ni Hao Kai-Lan game last week, and he was able to choose the correct option from the opening screen to choose the “cartridge game” (instead of playing games that are already loaded on the Leapster), and he knew how to choose different games on the cartridge, and how to use the D-pad to actually play them. It’s insane. Speaking as someone who didn’t learn how to use a mouse until she was 15, I am just astounded. Little kids these days are so smart! (I’m not naive enough to think that that Jack is the only almost three-year-old who instinctively knows how to play video games.) Anyway, we’ve taken it away for now, because Jack could easily sit there and play with it for two hours at a time. We’re saving it for the road trip, since we’ll be driving many hours each day for four days.

Let’s see, what else? Oh! Jack now can disrobe, climb onto the actual toilet, get off of it, put his clothes back on, flush and wash his hands all by himself! Most of the time it’s still faster for me to help him with the steps, but it’s really nice that he can now go to the bathroom by himself if I’m busy changing Derek or something. Actually, Ann taught him how to take off his pants by himself without losing his balance. After she left, I saw Jack push his pants down past his butt, then sit down to take off his pants all the way. I asked, “Who taught you that?” His reply was, “Auntie Ann!” It’s a genius move — so simple, yet so effective. So, that’s a big development.

Derek is pulling up to standing all over the place. I think he’s skipped the crawling stage altogether. He still army-crawls, and he moves his knees correctly, but his tummy remains on the floor. Anyway, now he has no patience for crawling, he just wants to cruise around everywhere! And he’s already attempting to climb stuff. I’m at a little bit of a loss, because Jack was never like this! He crawled everywhere, and he also liked to pull up to standing, but he rarely wanted to climb anything. And he never went for electric outlets or standing lamps or little objects. Derek, on the other hand, wants to stick his hand in all the outlets, he attempts to pull on any cord or standing lamp in sight, and he manages to find any small object and then wants to put it in his mouth. Jack has become very adept at pulling small things out of Derek’s way. He once found a loose screw in Derek’s path, said, “No, DEREK! DANGEROUS!” picked it up, and brought it to Johnny, saying, “I take this away from Derek.” Thank goodness! So, whereas we half-assed our babyproofing with Jack, we really have to step up our game with Derek. It is tiring! Thank goodness he’s a reliable nighttime sleeper. I definitely need my 12 hours of recharging time.

OK, speaking of the little devils, Derek is up, so now it’s time to make our Costco run. Hope everyone’s having a great week.

Ever since Jack was old enough to ask for whatever food we were having (so, around one year old), whenever Johnny and I have had something that Jack can’t have — such as a frappucino — we’ve fed Jack the line of, “Oh, you don’t want it. It’s yucky.” Then we’ll make a face, and Jack goes about his business. Sometimes he’ll whine for a second or two, but it works almost all the time. I thought we had him fooled, but I guess now he’s in on the joke.

This morning, I ran several errands with the boys — quick appointment at the dentist’s to check on my implant, Costco run, trip to the garden supply store. On our last errand, I noticed that it was nearly noon and decided to pick up a nuggets Happy Meal for Jack. We keep Jack’s diet pretty healthy, but I just knew that by the time I got home and prepared him a lunch, Derek would be fussing for his food, and it would be cutting into naptime. Derek’s food is easy — just microwave a couple cubes of the purees in the freezer — and I usually munch on fruit or leftovers for lunch, so the rest of us were set. Anyway, we breezed through the drive-through, and Jack was delighted by the thought of having nuggets and fries.

We got home, I set out Jack’s food, microwaved Derek’s lunch and sat down to feed Derek. At one point, Derek stared intently at Jack’s food, and Jack caught Derek’s eye. Jack then held a protective arm over his plate, looked right at Derek and said, “No, no, Derek. This is yucky. Ew, no eat this. Yucky!” And then he paused, looked at me, and added, “Right, Mommy? Right?” And I swear to you he winked. He can’t do it with one eye, but he deliberately blinked both eyes extra hard. I was just like, “Uh … ” I couldn’t think of a response! I wonder how long Jack’s been calling our bluff?!

I guess now the frappucinos or whatever we don’t want Jack to have will really have to wait until he’s in bed! Or, better yet, we’ll just start telling him that certain food is only for Mommy and Daddy.

Yes, folks, it’s the end of an era: Jack has stopped napping. I knew this day would come — I’ve read that the precious nap usually ends at three, and most of Jack’s little friends have stopped napping. Up until a week or two ago, Jack was still sleeping for two hours in the middle of the day. Sure, he’d skip one here or there, but he was reliable for the most part, and also sleeping nearly 12 hours at night. Well, for the past 10 days, he’s been quietly reading in his bed (he gets out of bed and gets books from the bookcase himself) instead of sleeping. Unlike in the past, he doesn’t get crazy in the late afternoon without his nap. His nighttime sleeping is unaffected — still sleeping from 7 p.m. to a little after 6:30 a.m. — so I think all the signs are that Mr. Jack is done with his nap.

Oh, but Mommy wasn’t done with the nap! Of course, Derek takes two naps a day. After lunch, we’re still enforcing quiet time for Jack, either reading in bed or playing quietly in the playroom.

It’s hard to believe that naps are a thing of the past for Jack now. For so long, it was such a central part of the routine. Makes me a little sad: Seems like just yesterday, Jack was crawling all over the place, eating baby food, making cute babbling noises, napping. Now he’s a big kid, running everywhere, eating regular food, talking up a storm, and going straight from morning to evening without a nap. Oh, and wearing underwear — that’s a big one, too. Luckily, I still have one infant to cuddle.

Speaking of babies, our furry child, Atari, was diagnosed with glaucoma in his right eye this week. It’s very sad. His right eye was totally bloodshot, and he kept it tightly closed. It first happened over a week ago, and our regular vet thought maybe he’d sustained some sort of head trauma (like bumping his head into a corner), and prescribed steroid eye ointment to help with the inflammation. That cleared it up, or so it seemed, but this past Monday, Atari was once again closing his eye, and his tail was droopy. Fellow Shiba owners know that when your Shiba’s tail isn’t curled, it means he’s in great distress. Atari also wasn’t eating much. So the next day, I took him into the vet again, where she said it looked like glaucoma. The pressure in his eye was so great that she referred me to a special dog and cat opthalmologist center as an “emergency” case. That afternoon, the ophthalmologist confirmed the diagnosis and performed 45 minutes of examinations on Atari’s eyes, including one where they put a huge glass thing directly ON Atari’s eyeball to look at the eye’s drainage system. They had to repeat that one about six times because his eye is so small, and the glass thing kept getting an air bubble under it. Atari was extremely patient. Now he’s on prescription eye drops, and we’ll see if those work. He seems to be feeling better. The worst-case scenario is blindness — he’s already lost some vision in his right eye.  Atari will be six years old in May, so he’s only middle-aged, but if glaucoma pops up in Shibas, it usually happens between ages 5 and 6. Luckily, Shibas are pretty hardy, so I hope Atari doesn’t suffer any other major problems. He is the world’s mellowest dog. I’m really hoping to preserve his sight as long as possible — we’re putting drops in his left eye preventively, too. June is going to be an optometrist in a year, so maybe we can hit her up for free drops, ha. She did say that glaucoma is extremely painful, it’s just that dogs can’t say it. Atari didn’t even whimper. So sad.

If these drops don’t work, we’ll try something stronger. The hope is that he won’t exhaust the drop options before his life ends (he probably still has a good six or seven, maybe even more, years left). Otherwise, we’re looking at surgery, which is in the thousands of dollars. There’s an awesome laser surgery option that’s very new that would preserve sight and solve the glaucoma problem altogether (and prevent it from happening in his left eye), but that’s in the range of $5,000 per eye, and, well, we just don’t have that kind of money. And even if we did, it’d be hard to justify dropping $10,000 on a preventive surgery for our dog, as much as we love him. Drops and more traditional surgical options aren’t cheap, either, but they’re more affordable than the laser surgery. Anyway, he’s doing much better now, and we go for a recheck on Monday. Hopefully the ophthalmologist will declare him good with these drops, and we can stop worrying about it for a little while.

Johnny recently pointed out that since he’s known me, I’ve always had some major project going on. At first I started to protest because I always struggle whenever anyone asks me what my “hobbies” are. I don’t really collect anything (other than clothes!), I don’t scrapbook, I’m not into taking artsy photographs (although I do enjoy documenting my life with plenty of snapshots). I do like to read, but who doesn’t? Besides, that hardly counts as a “project.” But, Johnny countered that I get bored without something to fill up my spare time, and said my obsession with training Atari, foray into cooking gourmet meals, participation in two half-marathons, and total immersion in all things baby- and parenting-related are all huge projects. I thought about it, and you know, he’s right. Every once in a while, I decide to pick up a new skill or activity, throw myself into it, learn the ins and outs, and for the most part, I then keep it as part of my life (certainly, cooking, Atari and the kids are a permanent fixtures. Running is a semi-regular part of my routine; I don’t get to run as much as I’d like to). Once I get the hang of it, I guess I start looking for a new challenge.

Anyway, the reason this topic came up is because I’ve been talking to Johnny more and more about gardening — specifically, growing our own vegetable garden — and earlier this week, Johnny goes, “I see that ‘This is a project’ twinkle in your eye!” My first reaction was to scoff, but then I recognized the signs of a Beverly project: long periods of time Googling gardening-related topics, babbling to Johnny about building me a raised bed, scoping out the cute gardening clogs and rolling tool-storage bins at Target (they even come with cupholders and a kneeling pad on top!), wondering aloud if it would be reasonable to ask for an Environcycle tumbling composter for a 30th birthday present, considering creating an account on a gardening message board. Even I had to admit that the diagnosis was clear: I am forging full-steam ahead into my new project.

I’m a little surprised by this new project, since I’ve never been an outdoorsy person, and a few months back, the subject of gardening would bore me to tears. But, a few weeks ago, I noticed that a hydrangea we planted last summer — that I thought had died over the winter — had come back to life. I love, love, love hydrangea. I’m pretty indifferent toward most yard plants, but oh, hydrangea, how I love thee. So I’ve been giving the hydrangea some TLC, hoping to nurse it back to life. Then I noticed a few other plants in our yard that need some love. It’s like they were challenging me to make them flourish, and I almost never turn down a good challenge. Then, some of the moms in my playgroup were talking about their vegetable gardens. I love the idea of growing some of our own vegetables, but I haven’t wanted to do anything because eventually Johnny and I want to get our backyard professionally landscaped (it’s got a good layout, but the previous owners really let it go to hell). I got to talking to one of the moms, who has the Square Foot Gardening book and followed the straightforward instructions in it to build a self-contained 4×4 vegetable garden bed in her backyard. The book even told her how many of each type of vegetable (depending on size) to plant in each square foot of the bed. It occurred to me that this is something I could do without taking up one of the permanent beds (that might get uprooted in a re-landscaping project). So, anyway, I’m going to order the book, read it, do a little (OK, a lot of) supplemental research online, and next spring, I can build my own veggie garden. In the meantime, there are lots of little projects for me to tackle in our yard.

Another bonus: If this gardening thing sticks, I have an excuse to get a cute wide-brimmed hat! (Shopping … it is never far from my mind.)